My Blog

All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.

God enables us to love the fear out of one another.

We drive fear from our families and friends by loving one another so supportively that every one feels safe inside the group (1 John 4:18). This safety allows us to bring our humanity into the open, including all our pain and joy, our ups and downs, our victories and defeats.

It means you give to others the same uncommon safety Christ gives you – to be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused, yet to be loved.

God challenges us to create a Christ-community where we love like our lives depend upon it (1 Peter 1:22) and where we can each “live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)

We’re to weep as one and celebrate as one, caring for each other equally (1 Corinthians 12:25-26) as we comfort and confront, warm and warn, cherish and challenge within an atmosphere of supportive safety.

Loving the fear out of each other requires that we develop:

Tender hearts – We give support to each other because God gives us support, and we’re to encourage others with the encouragement we receive from him. (2 Corinthians 1:4) In the New Testament, the word ‘support’ can literally mean “to increase one another’s potential.” (Romans 14:19 NJB) We strengthen one another by extending love, instead of fostering fear, and we do that by offering relationships that are safe and sympathetic.

Humble minds –True humility focuses on the worth of others. We understand our value in Christ, and we understand that God shapes each of us for a unique purpose.

Godly eyes – Loving the fear out of our family and friends – in fact, loving the fear out of the world – means we see others for what they can be, not for what they appear to be now. Jesus called Peter a rock when the fisherman was still acting on impulse (Matt. 16:18), and God called Gideon a mighty man of courage when he was hiding from the enemy among piles of grain. (Judges 6:11-12) God calls us to encourage and affirm each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11), seeing those around us in terms of their purpose and mission in life.

So what?

· God enables us to love the fear out of one another. You can love the fear out of others, and you can allow the fear to be loved out of you.

· We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:

· It’s OK to have a bad day.
· It’s OK to be tired.
· It’s OK to admit your mistakes.
· It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.
· It’s OK to confess your addiction.
· It’s OK to share you’re scared.
· It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.
· It’s OK to grieve this loss.
· It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.

· We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:

· It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.
· It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.
· It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.
· It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.
· It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.
· It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.”

The same could be said of a perfect world or the perfect family. Created by God and guided by his perfect instructions, there’s only one way to mess things up: People!

The fact is, living with imperfect people requires patience. And I say this as a friend, but you are one of the imperfect people who require patience! Unfortunately, I keep learning that I’m an imperfect person too.

The Bible teaches that patience is the solution for living with someone else’s imperfections. This patience is to flow from the kindness God shows us, so we’re (not so simply) following God’s love.

Colossians 3:12-13 says: “As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

The word translated “patience” also could be rendered “longsuffering.” Patience means putting up with one another when we’d rather lose our temper; it means forgiving one another when we’d rather hold a grudge.

It is love in action, for “love is patient.” (1 Corinthians 13:14a NIV)

In addition, patience muzzles our mouths, stopping the murmuring and complaining that so naturally flow from the human tongue. Paul says, “Let us stop criticizing each other. Instead, we should decide never to do anything that would make other Christians have doubts or lose their faith.”

With patience ruling the day, we become stronger through our differences and we develop a godly diversity in our relationships. We no longer require that everyone act and look and think exactly the same way.

Paul saw this as an exciting model of God’s Church: “Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.” (Romans 14:1 MSG)

So what?

Patience and a critical spirit are mutually exclusive – Even when your complaints are justified, patience pushes and pulls you toward forgiving and forgetting: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

You are imperfect – Living with an imperfect person requires patience. You, my friend, are an imperfect person, and there are some people who require patience to live with you! (Think about who they are and thank them today.)

Let love lead – “Most of all, let love guide your life, for then the whole church will stay together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14 LB) How open are you to other believers who don’t see things the way you do?