All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.

God enables us to love the fear out of one another.

We drive fear from our families and friends by loving one another so supportively that every one feels safe inside the group (1 John 4:18). This safety allows us to bring our humanity into the open, including all our pain and joy, our ups and downs, our victories and defeats.

It means you give to others the same uncommon safety Christ gives you – to be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused, yet to be loved.

God challenges us to create a Christ-community where we love like our lives depend upon it (1 Peter 1:22) and where we can each “live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)

We’re to weep as one and celebrate as one, caring for each other equally (1 Corinthians 12:25-26) as we comfort and confront, warm and warn, cherish and challenge within an atmosphere of supportive safety.

Loving the fear out of each other requires that we develop:

Tender hearts – We give support to each other because God gives us support, and we’re to encourage others with the encouragement we receive from him. (2 Corinthians 1:4) In the New Testament, the word ‘support’ can literally mean “to increase one another’s potential.” (Romans 14:19 NJB) We strengthen one another by extending love, instead of fostering fear, and we do that by offering relationships that are safe and sympathetic.

Humble minds –True humility focuses on the worth of others. We understand our value in Christ, and we understand that God shapes each of us for a unique purpose.

Godly eyes – Loving the fear out of our family and friends – in fact, loving the fear out of the world – means we see others for what they can be, not for what they appear to be now. Jesus called Peter a rock when the fisherman was still acting on impulse (Matt. 16:18), and God called Gideon a mighty man of courage when he was hiding from the enemy among piles of grain. (Judges 6:11-12) God calls us to encourage and affirm each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11), seeing those around us in terms of their purpose and mission in life.

So what?

· God enables us to love the fear out of one another. You can love the fear out of others, and you can allow the fear to be loved out of you.

· We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:

· It’s OK to have a bad day.
· It’s OK to be tired.
· It’s OK to admit your mistakes.
· It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.
· It’s OK to confess your addiction.
· It’s OK to share you’re scared.
· It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.
· It’s OK to grieve this loss.
· It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.

· We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:

· It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.
· It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.
· It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.
· It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.
· It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.
· It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.”

The same could be said of a perfect world or the perfect family. Created by God and guided by his perfect instructions, there’s only one way to mess things up: People!

The fact is, living with imperfect people requires patience. And I say this as a friend, but you are one of the imperfect people who require patience! Unfortunately, I keep learning that I’m an imperfect person too.

The Bible teaches that patience is the solution for living with someone else’s imperfections. This patience is to flow from the kindness God shows us, so we’re (not so simply) following God’s love.

Colossians 3:12-13 says: “As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

The word translated “patience” also could be rendered “longsuffering.” Patience means putting up with one another when we’d rather lose our temper; it means forgiving one another when we’d rather hold a grudge.

It is love in action, for “love is patient.” (1 Corinthians 13:14a NIV)

In addition, patience muzzles our mouths, stopping the murmuring and complaining that so naturally flow from the human tongue. Paul says, “Let us stop criticizing each other. Instead, we should decide never to do anything that would make other Christians have doubts or lose their faith.”

With patience ruling the day, we become stronger through our differences and we develop a godly diversity in our relationships. We no longer require that everyone act and look and think exactly the same way.

Paul saw this as an exciting model of God’s Church: “Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.” (Romans 14:1 MSG)

So what?

Patience and a critical spirit are mutually exclusive – Even when your complaints are justified, patience pushes and pulls you toward forgiving and forgetting: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

You are imperfect – Living with an imperfect person requires patience. You, my friend, are an imperfect person, and there are some people who require patience to live with you! (Think about who they are and thank them today.)

Let love lead – “Most of all, let love guide your life, for then the whole church will stay together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14 LB) How open are you to other believers who don’t see things the way you do?

“For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.”

Have you ever been somewhere you didn’t want to be? Maybe it was a job, a town, or a marriage. Maybe it was a stage in life, like singlehood, or a state in life, like a disability. It’s very possible that as you read this, you’re wishing you were somewhere else – anywhere else – living a different life, but you know it’s not likely that anything is going to change any time soon.

God has a word for you. It’s the same word he gave a group of people when they were stuck in another country, exiled from their homeland. They’d folded their arms and said, “We’re going to wait this thing out, and when we get home, we’ll start living our lives.”

Through the prophet Jeremiah, God told them, “You’re not going home any time soon, so start making your lives here. Plant gardens, buy homes, let your children get married, and pray for the peace and prosperity of the place where you’re currently living because, by doing that, you too will be blessed with peace and prosperity.”

To use a modern cliché, God was saying, “Bloom where you’re planted.”

Don’t invest your energy in hopes of leaving; instead invest your energy in the people around you. The Christian martyr Jim Eliot expressed it this way: “Wherever you are, be all there.” Don’t be physically present but mentally somewhere else, thinking of the future or the past, thinking of someplace else. Our journey with Christ requires that we be fully present in the present.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer called it “this worldliness,” and said, “It is only by living completely in this world that one learns to live by faith.” This focus allows you to see that your life is centered in God and not the place you live or work, not the person you’re married to – or not married to – not how you feel or how you look.

Investing in the people around you is exactly how you find life. Jeremiah even told the exiles that God had arranged for them to be in exile. So it was God’s plan all along to push them to the edge of their existence, so they would end up centered solely on God.

You may feel like you’re in exile too, but God is still working in your life; and his message to you is: Dig in and fully embrace the life around you.

So What?

· Center your life in God, not in your circumstances. God is constant; your circumstances are temporary. Ask God, “What do you want me to learn or to do in these present circumstances.”

· Change me, God – Instead of asking God to change your circumstances, ask him to change you in the circumstances.

· Practice being in the present – Today, whenever you find your mind drifting to another place, bring it back to the present, and ask God to help you stay in the present.

· Determine to be a good steward of what you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Make the most of what God has given you.

“No more lies, no more pretense. Tell your brother the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.” (Ephesians 4:25 MSG)

Discipleship — Honesty deepens our relationships, allowing us to be transparent with one another. (Proverbs 24:26) It keeps our fellowship open and authentic, freeing us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) as we practice remarkable integrity. (Titus 2:7) It keeps us sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s guidance (John 16:13) and helps us battle deceptions that corrupt our lives in Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Being honest with each other requires us to say what we mean and mean what we say. (Matthew 5:37) It means we show the same honesty in public as we do in private. (Acts 20:20) It calls us to remain committed to the One Truth – God’s truth. (John14:6)

As new creations in Christ, we’ve taken off our old selves, and accordingly we should no longer lie to each other. (Colossians 3:9) In fact, the father of lies is the evil one: “There is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar ….” (John 8:44 NIV; italics added)

Being honest in Christian community means we no longer use pretense to keep others from seeing who we really are – “We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don’t maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don’t twist God’s Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:2 MSG)

There should be no need to “read between the lines or look for hidden meanings” because we speak a “plain, unembellished truth.” (2 Corinthians 1:13 MSG)

In fact, we’re to “use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5 MSG)

So what?

· Dishonesty pollutes – When dishonesty pollutes our lives together, it becomes difficult to develop a deeper trust for one another. (Luke 16:10 NLT)

· There are two kinds of lies:

Lies of commission – These are lies where we specifically make false statements.

Lies of omission – These are lies where we fail to tell the whole truth, or we wink at the deceptions of others.

Do you struggle with either of these? Both?

· Practice telling the honest truth – God says that one day “every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.” (Romans14:11b MSG)

“Grace must wound before it can heal.”

There are two schools of thought when it comes to the problem of pain. One says: “Sometimes the going will get tough, and in those times you need to remember that your faith will get you through and something good will come out of hardship. Hang in there, this will soon be over.” The other would be: “Get use to it. Pain, suffering, and hardship are necessary for growth. They will be constant companions to those who desire to know and love God deeply. Get ready for the long haul. If you’re feeling good and life is relatively painless, that’s the abnormal experience, not the norm. Enjoy it, but don’t expect it.”

These perspectives present what appears to be subtle differences, when, in fact, they have huge ramifications for the follower of Christ. One says that suffering is a glitch on the spiritual map, a storm one can weather, a malfunction easily corrected with a certain degree of patience and determination. This perspective believes that there exists a “normal” state for a believer that is relatively comfortable and risk-free. But in reality, this perspective is unbiblical and actually lines up more with a culture that treats discomfort as something we deserve to have alleviated. Multi-billion dollar industries are dedicated to creating and maintaining this myth, and convincing us all that the good life is attainable with, of course, the help of the product being touted. In other words, “normal” is just around the corner.

The other perspective is much more in keeping with reality and the belief that our real purposes go way beyond this life and this present darkness. It is a perspective that expects hardship and pain to be a part of the day-to-day program. If we are waiting for anything, we are waiting for eternity with Christ, not for everything to get better here on earth. We have learned that trials are such an integral part of our growing life in Christ that we even welcome trouble when it comes our way, because we know that by it, our faith is found worthy of being tested and our endurance will have a chance to grow (James 1:2-3).

This is not about being pessimistic. It’s about being realistic and learning how to find joy in the midst of even the most difficult things. Getting “normal” right is half the battle.

“God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. As a result, I can really know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I can learn what it means to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that, somehow, I can experience the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:10-11 NLT)

Failed relationships happen to teach us an important lesson to help us grow from our flawed, broken, fragmented and bad selves to our improved, healed, whole and best selves.

Stop worrying about what you don’t have and start finding real joy in what you do have. Stop agonizing over what might happen and start moving toward the best of what can happen.

All the richness of life is here today for you to touch. The limitless abundance of the universe is yours right now to experience.

Any shortcomings you come across are mostly a product of the perspective you choose. Expand your perspective and the shortcomings disappear.

Stop being afraid to fail and you’ll start to consistently and spectacularly succeed. To climb the highest peak you must be willing to occasionally slide backwards.

Stop being your own worst enemy and start acting true to the deepest purpose within you. There is so much wisdom you already possess that you can use when you choose to listen to your own best advice.

Stop merely going through the motions and start living each moment with joy and meaning. Discover and fulfill the golden treasure that is your life.